Sugardy Candy

Yuletide fic done on time, yes! I'm not entirely happy with it, and if I can squeeze in a little time I'll try to edit it further.

Visit Japan for the first time ever in my life, for one week, over end-November/beginning-December. It was glorious. Everything else aside, no one spoke to me for a week. (I spoke only when I wanted, and that was to very lovely and polite shop and restaurant staff and hotel staff.) I went to Sendai, which was all layers of happiness, not-so-incidentally also met an ex-classmate which was very comforting, and also to Kyoto which had a delightful surprise for me.

Back home, I thought things were back to normal but now coming to year-end, to my dismay, I'm approaching a mindset that I thought I had abandoned years ago:

1) refusal to eat;
2) a wild urge to fling myself off the building, or alternatively to maybe self-harm a lot;
3) trying not to burst into tears when I have to go out in public and interact with people.

I am like, damn it. I don't have time for this only to realise, sure I have time for this. I can take as much time as I want to think about how I need to buy more fan-stuff so I'm motivated to wake up in the morning. Anyway, it's probably seasonal and will pass, but I am annoyed now. Or I should be, if I had the energy for it.

I should probably eat. Food solves a lot of problems.

Happy winter solstice, everyone.

Well, it's not COVID but a cold/cough after more than three years isn't welcome either.

(1) I've just finished the beginnings of my Linkedin profile, an ordeal which was as sigh-inducing as expected. I think the sole reason I haven't gone looking for a new job earlier is just how much I hated/still hate job-hunting. I'm that mix of (a) some experience but it's a rather niche area that doesn't really adapt well to other areas, which is a bummer if you would rather not have the same job again, (b) being not very motivated to want to put in additional hours (but if I have to...) but almost certainly have to, and (c) sadly and low-key worried that my job is becoming obsolete and therefore change is imminent. And (d) I'm really not a genial person and am hampered by extreme passivity. Basically, needs must but T_T

We'll see.

(2) Another thing that are (more?) imminent: Yuletide nominations, and then Yuletide itself. I'm (again) in two minds about Yuletide this year. The thing is, after making my requests I inexplicably (or not) feel like writing my requests myself anyway, for better or worse. But then I've got great Yuletide fics over the years, so that feels too lovely to give up.

(3) Related to (2), what fandoms? I suddenly thought of The Imperial Coroner, and possibly HIStory3: Trapped and Make Your Days Count again.

Before I got my own place, I already knew it was going to be pretty small (1 bedroom flat) so I was looking up interior design style guides for small spaces. However, what (mostly) westernised interior design guides think of as 'small spaces' are actually about twice the size of my place. And some of those ideas just didn't quite fit, e.g. the so-called tiny house movement seems to assume that you will have a backyard. (That's just cheating, I wail.)

Stumbled a while back on a series of home makeovers in China by Beijing TV, which seems to be more on point. It calls itself 暖暖的新家： to makeover a truly small apartment (or house） (400sqft is a pretty common size) so that it comfortably holds a family of 4 or 5, a family of 6 (or this. The most interesting ones, I find, are the ones where they makeover a tiny bit of a hutong in Beijing, like this one (lots of hutongs were subdivided last century to provide more housing) #夢想改造家. Also an interesting snapshot into some common urban (usually Beijing) family structures: many are single-child families but both sets of grandparents move in to assist with childcare. It's kind of fun.

I'd Rather Spend My Whole Life Asleep (With You), Luo Binghe/Shen Qingqiu, original Luo Binghe, Scum Villain, WIP, by kuku88

If It's You, Lan/Wangji/Wei Wuxian, MDZS, by etymologyplayground

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Also apparently fans of MXTX's Scum Villain, MDZS and Tian Guan Ci Fu are all pre-ordering the English translations like whoa. That's great, while objectively, I'm wondering if the Taiwanese publisher does a version of TGCF that (1) is in traditional Chinese, and (2) where the text runs vertically. I wish I'd done that for the Scum Villain novel, because I'm enjoying it and I'd really enjoy it more if it were in a format that I like best.

Other stuff: I guess I would not like to be in the shoes of SHL's cast and production team now? Imagine working so hard and becoming incredibly relieved and proud that SHL became a success and you're getting known for it and you can put it on your resume, and THEN.

( Read more... )

Non fanfic:

Black Water Sister by Zen Cho. Lives up to hype, though the K-drama-esque revelation at the ending was... very K-drama-esque. Or maybe that's just me. Jessamy (hate the name), a Harvard grad, returns to Malaysia only to find herself being haunted by her grandmother. As she tries to resolves a minor case of possession (her own) family secrets come out. In some places, it was pretty reminiscent of listening to the hairier tales of my grandma's family. Is there a genre such as SEA modern gothic? Because I think this might describe the plot. Now if only everything took place in an old Peranakan shophouse as well...

I love her dialogue, and how the Manglish never becomes awkward. I feel ultra-sensitive about writing set in SEA that try to portray the way people actually speak - it grates when it feels fake or awkward - and Zen Cho has always done it well in her previous works. And love all the in-jokes, though I've probably missed a few at the first reading.

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Fanfic writing:

Does anyone know how Zhang Zhehan and Gong Jun address each other, other than as Zhang-laoshi and Gong-laoshi? I'm tired of trying to figure this out via variety show clips and fan-vids on Youtbe. I know, I suck at research. Also I get distracted by the pretty. Also there's a lot of Xiao Zhan clips because c-entertainment news is mad full of it. And also. Much as I love staring at the pretty, it grates to keep coming accross WYB-XZ clips. I mean, I get that people adore Wangxian - as do I, but purely in fic. I think that that (RPS) ship has long, long sailed off a cliff. Anyway, Youtbe, stop giving the things I do not want.

Am I writing RPS of ZZH and GJ? I don't know. I have an idea but first I need to know what they call each other. I guess I can always invent some xiaoming or buddy-names...


TV:

Dream of Red Chamber, 2010 version. I'm not that much of a fan of having someone narrate the scenes to me, even though I know it helps in keeping the plotlines in mind. It's distracting. And this version mainly just follows the narrative sequence of the 1987 version; y'know, they could have done something interesting with the ending instead - instead we get the same old, same old Gao E version, except without the good songs of the 1987 version. Other than that. It is indeed very, very pretty. But the sound effects are *groan*. I know it's meant to portray a dreamlike atmosphere or the Dreaded Hand of Fate or whatever, but it unwittingly makes things feel cartoony. And I wish they'd just indicate which character it is (there are so many) when they appear onscreen after a few episodes' absence. And Yang Yang looks just fine as Jia Baoyu, BUT the actor who portrayed his younger self was way, way more... transcendent? And I've seriously having dissonance when I look at Li Qin as Xue Baochai versus the Li Qin whom I like in Joy of Life. Argh. Thankfully she is later acted by someone older, so I can dislike her in peace.

Hospital Playlist 2, coming this week. Can't wait. OMG. It's coming this week. Can't wait. Did I mention that I can't wait?

I think the reason that up to now, I can't make myself watch TV set in contemporary times (and so I've only been watching period shows or fantasy shows) is I dread seeing Covid appearing on TV. Don't ask me why, but I feel like if they portray the pandemic or don't portray the pandemic and it doesn't ring true to me I might throw my TV away. (If it was obviously made before Covid, I'm fine.) That's why I still haven't really watched History 4 even though I was pretty excited for it earlier this year. Besides the fake/not fake incesty plot. Look, after your stepbrother takes advantage of you while you're drunk the ONLY correct response is to cut him out of your life forever (whether or not you wish to make a police report, for the sake of family cohesion blahblahblah). That is exactly the time to spit on his 'love'. Instead (from the clips I caught) you tell yourself you're in love? I can't.

Lucifer season 5b. I liked this more than season 5A. Linda is my guiding light.


...I came to talk about ONE book.

So, 2021.

Fandom-wise, I've been immersed in MDZS for the better part of a year if not longer that I'm starting to wonder if Covid came first or my fangirling. Also taken aback to realise (re-realise?) that I was writing some HIStory3 fic last year too.

RL-wise, work continues at a frentic pace as it has since we ended a shutdown last June, AND finally, thank goodness, we have begun vaccinations (albeit for the most vulnerable at this point, but I await my turn impatiently). And I think a lot about a commentator on Twitter who felt that people who are on an island shouldn't be jostling for vaccines with other countries as island nations should have been able to gatekeep Covid out of their territories (I'm paraphrasing). First, I think it's pretty well clear that island nations or not, Covid has been spreading. Second, WTF. The situation is not good and 'should' pretty much goes out of the window.

On my end, my so-called essential work means I meet half a dozen strangers in person every day, where we proceed to talk at each other for anything from 15 minutes and longer. I can't work remotely. I'm not in healthcare or transit so I don't get priority for a vaccination. I'm the only one in my office who sees this many clients, because I'm not senior enough to arrow the work to someone else. I feel vulnerable as fuck. I take my precautions - maybe even getting a little complacent with it - and feel lucky that cases are very low where I am but the reality is always at the back of my mind, and I think of this Twitter stranger and, and I think, how dare they. /rant

RL-wise the second, Lunar New Year is upon us! (Soon.) I've been so busy that I've not been able to think seriously about it, but this weekend I have (a) obtained egg rolls aka love letters, deep-fried sambal rolls, a bag of pistachos, a bag of cashew nuts; alas being too late to buy Sunny Hills pineapple tarts (honestly the best, next to my mum's homemade ones), and also traditional pork jerky (okay so it was my parents who got them for me); (b) purchased flowers including peach flowers; (c) laid out pattern and did the cutting for a dress which will hopefully be completed - without disaster; I've not sewn for ages - by Lunar New Year for me to wear (who am I kidding); and (d) have mixed a batch of chocolate chip cookies which frozen batter is in the fridge. Home visits are supposed to be limited during the long weekend (prolly only seeing my immediate family) so I may be able to catch up on sleep: work plus Covid-stress has been causing sleep problems for months.

Also being terrified of falling sick (Covid or not), I've been taking pains to eat healthily and get regular exercise and so on? I've been on long walks every weekend. I used to fall apart after walking five kilometres; now apparently 15 is my regular distance. While avoiding people. Covid-year has been...

Also have to make a stab at spring cleaning. I guess I could put up fresh curtains...?

RL-wise the third, I must say it's kind of fun/sad that I come home at night and check that my robot vacuum cleaner is back at its charging spot. (This is also my sad acknowledgement that I really can't get a cat for now; I'm not home long enough.)

Happy Lunar New Year to all who celebrate it, and even if you don't, stay healthy and may your vaccination date come soon.

I have so many half-assed fic ideas and am so incapable of getting them into any sort of coherent order, I'm sick of myself.

Possible my lack of sleep has something to do with that, hm. And possibly the long workdays? Recently I've made the discovery that a short bus-ride from my place brings me all the way to a tiny, tiny island that has been turned into a park/hiking spot (there's a road/bridge leading to it and it takes just two hours to walk the perimeter) and the prospect of going there during the weekend is the one thing getting me through the week. There's something incredibly precious about it. To a dreamy weekend. Well, I have to get through Friday first.

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Still MDZS | Untamed

black milk of daybreak, drunk at sundown, AU, no to Burial Mounds siege, Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian, by stiltonbasket

Dragon's Gall, Madam Lan, Qingheng-jun, forced marriage, rape within marriage, forced pregnancy, imprisonment and torture, abuse, life-endangering childbirth, postpartum depression, miscarriage, by jelenedra. So many warnings, but it's a fic that involves Madam Lan...

Happy Mid-Autumn festival, everyone!

I guess most people are like me, at the stage where I have good mask days (when I don't mind it so much) and bad mask days when for some reason it keeps fogging my glasses and it feels hard to breathe. Work has been perplexingly hectic (my industry is heavily affected by the economy, so you'd think that business would have cooled, but...). Most days you look back and can't believe it's the last quarter of the year, and where has it all gone?


Watching:

Love and Redemption aka 琉璃 (with English sub, if anyone wants), xianxia. Wiki link if anyone wants.

It's a pretty fun outing wherein the God of War is a woman, and reborn on earth as Chu Xuanji. I'm totally there for the many devoted scenes of the male lead, Yu Sifeng. And Xuanji's spirital animal, Tengshe (which I think would translate to Touda in Japanese).

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the stars in the hazy heaven tremble above you, Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian, royalty AU, Cinderella-fusion, by cicer


Ways of Looking at a Blackbird, backstory of Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji's mother and maternal family, by x_los

rather cruelly used and rather reserved, Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian, by x_los

I knew he was in it, but my primarily reaction is still "That is Yang Yang?!" (as Jia Baoyu in 2010 Dream of Red Mansions): trailer here.

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Wait, cauliflower rice is really a thing? *aghast* Why not just... eat cauliflower? In other news, I bought an electric lunchbox which is actually a tiny little steamer and now I can pack lunch to heat in the office. (We don't have a microwave oven.) Goodbye, sandwiches! \o/ It is so simplified (I got the cheapest model) that it doesn't have a timer: the amount of water in it determines the cooking time. When the water is all boiled up, it switches off automatically. I'm trying to figure out if steaming temperature is good enough to heat curry: I have some in the freezer (for the frozen prata, actually) and it could go with my rice. Maybe I'll cook some cauliflower in curry: that's gotta be a thousand times better than cauliflower rice.

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All MDZS | Untamed

unceremonied poetry, Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian, mentioned dog death while on a case, by magicianprince

Diamond in the ruff, dog, Jin Ling, Jin Rusong, by citron_ella

Five Dogs, One Cat, accidental dog acquisition, Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian, Jin Ling, ryfkah

1. Look, I don't follow JKR on twitter and yet I'm still seeing her, so my option is to not go on twitter...? This is annoying. She can hold all kinds of demented views in her own brain, but why do I have to read them*?

*There's no 'two sides' to this... this thing. Trans-women are women. I feel dumb even typing this out: it's like questioning if the sun sets in the west. Can we talk about something more controversial now?

2. Kindle sample chapters:

(a) I started with Middlegame by Seanan McGuire and was thrown out in no time by one word: ounces. Or was it ounce? I've watched too many medical K-dramas to not assume that blood and other bodily fluids are measured using cc's...

(b) Zen Cho has a new book: The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water. Sample chapter looks promising, want to order from Kinokuniya but it's out of stock... needs 3 weeks. Ok, I'll wait... >_<

3. So, I watched King's Avatar, China-drama, last week. It's apparently based on a comic series ETA: It's based on a webnovel (thanks, larryhammer!), and about professional gamers. I am utterly ignorant of its origins but I have to admit that the sole - sole - reason I started was because the main character is acted by Yang Yang whom I belatedly learnt was also Jia Baoyu in 2010 Dreams of Red Chambers. YY is pretty. I keep trying to imagine his character as Jia Baoyu, though, which adds a layer of internal hilarity to my watching.

I love all the shots of (apparently) lightning-fast finger combinations on the keyboard and swishings of the computer mouse. I guess they have to make gaming look exciting the way they made playing Go look exciting (airplane flying! shining light!).

Also, yay! A series full of cute blokes (too few women, alas). Even the trash talking is adorable.

4. There goes my adventures in venturing out of MDZS fic. Also apparently the 3rd season of the animated series will be out at the end of July? \o/

5. Peninsula: sequel to Train to Busan. y/y?